


Memory Of a Husband

by Greenfrogger



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: Death in Childbirth, Death of Unborn Infant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, death of spouse, unexpected death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26071108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenfrogger/pseuds/Greenfrogger
Summary: TRIGGER: Loss of unborn child/mother; loss of spouse unexpectedly.This is the story of how Ryan and Seana found comfort and eventual love in each other after death of their respective spouses and unborn child (in Ryan's case).
Relationships: Brad Sherwood/Ryan Stiles, Debra McGrath/Colin Mochrie, Patricia Stiles/Ryan Stiles, Seana Mahoney/Brad Sherwood





	Memory Of a Husband

**Author's Note:**

> Then title of this story was given to me from a website that generated titles and this was the first one that pop up. Here's what my brain created.

Colin was heartbroken over his death. He felt awful, like he was somehow responsible for his death, when we all knew that wasn’t true. The plain and simple of it all was that it was Brad’s time to go. I was barley 30 when Brad died. Ryan, Brad’s buddy from Whose Line, had known what it felt like to lose a spouse. He had it worse, he had lost Pat and their unborn child during the what should had been a happy occasion, the birth of their first child. It was just an unlucky, random draw of the cards of what killed her. The entire pregnancy was going fine until near the due date and her blood pressure went sky high. Unfortunately both were lost in the end.

I was thankful for Ryan reaching out to me. I don’t think I would have gotten through the first month or so without him. It was him that put the clues together about my current predicament. I thought I wasn’t able to get pregnant. I had a lot of stomach issues through puberty and was told that I probably wouldn’t be able to get pregnant, and if I did, I’d more than likely miscarry. While Ryan and I were happy we were also scared shitless. For me if, I wasn’t sure what my body could handle and if I were to miscarry the baby, it would feel like losing Brad all over again. Ryan had stayed by my side since Brad’s death and I know he was having PTSD moments as the due date became closer after losing his wife and baby during childbirth.

Ryan had insisted I live with him in Washington once I realized I was pregnant. I quickly agreed because everything in the house Brad and I shared screamed Brad and I couldn’t stand being in there. I hope Brad understood. I’m sure he did. He understood a lot of my quirkiness of why I did things the way I did. 

Ryan had earned enough money during his career that he didn’t need to work unless he wanted too. Drew Carey series was over just before Brad’s death and he told Greg, Jeff and Chip that he’d get back on the road with them once I had the baby. Ryan couldn’t bare the thought of being far away if something happened. He went though that once. Before leaving for L.A., he talked with the Pat’s OB/GYN at the appointment she had the day before he left to make sure it would be okay for him to go. She found no reason as to why not, the baby wasn’t ready to make an appearance and everything was looking good. Pat’s blood pressure was in the normal range so when it spike like it did it was surprising. Pat’s mom rushed her as fast as she could to the hospital but unfortunately her life and the baby’s life was not spared. 

At the 7th month of pregnancy I received a letter indicating that I would lose my health insurance that I got from being married to Brad in 15 days. I panicked. Ryan, being the gentleman that he was, offered to marry me so the baby and I would have medical insurance. I felt horrible because felt I was taking advantage of Ryan but didn’t know what else to do. I had no income and couldn’t afford COBRA payments so I accepted. I told Ryan if he ever found someone that he wanted to date and/or marry I’d get out of the way. Ryan, always the gentleman.

Obviously, I only intended to be friends and have my own bed but one day he came to me looking for comfort and laid with me. I don’t know what happened that he wanted to be held and it didn’t matter. We came to one another, time to time, just needing to be held by another human. Neither of us asked questions, just the feeling we weren’t alone in the world was good enough. It was all part of the healing process. It started innocently one night as we were watching a movie together and we fell asleep. The next morning he stated that if I felt comfortable enough to sleep in the same bed with him that he wouldn’t mind. He chalked it up that the two of us in the same room could help with the baby. While that was a great idea, I also know that night was the best sleep he had since Pat’s death. 

He was trying but failing miserably in trying to keep his emotions in check. He rarely slept and when he did it was out of pure exhaustion. One of those times, in the middle of the day, I snuck downstairs and called my OB/GYN. I explained the situation to her and inquired about scheduling a caesarian section instead of waiting for me to go into labor. I explained what had happened when Pat died and I truly didn’t want to go through labor if that meant Ryan having a nervous breakdown especially if I had needed an emergency c-section. Thankfully she agreed and we scheduled it on what was Brad’s birthday, November 24. I didn’t realize what I had done until I put it on my phone calendar and saw that it would have been Brad’s birthday. I thought about it for long while and kept the date as scheduled.

When Ryan woke up I told him what I had done and when I had done it. “I know you’re scared shitless about me having this baby so I went and scheduled a caesarian section. What I didn’t mean to do and I did was schedule it on Brad’s birthday.” He told me whatever I was comfortable with, he was okay with and would support me.

Ryan was gracious enough to let me use the stuff in the nursery that he and Pat bought for their child. It was a hard step for him, it was a another nail in the coffin for him regarding his past life. I felt guilty about using it but we had a good cry about it. It helped release the feelings of guilt. Together we added some baby stuff so it became our nursery but still it took a bit of time to heal from the guilt but together we worked through it. It came together well.

No, I didn’t know what the gender was. I just didn’t want to know until I had the baby safely in my arms. It was my way of not getting too attached if the pregnancy didn’t work out. As October flipped into November I had to start preparing for a baby to be here. Ryan and I were clueless but together we did it with help from family and friends who had kids. Like only getting one box of size 1 diapers because you won’t use them all and getting a wide variety of clothes of different sizes. Babies grow fast. Mom to Mom sales were a good way of getting gently used clothes but the one thing Ryan put his foot down was on that. He just didn’t feel comfortable about getting used stuff when he could afford new and insisted that I use the clothing that Pat had bought for their child since no one else would use it and while I was grateful I also did purchase clothing as well.

I think we were ready as ever for this kid - diapers, wipes, butt cream, powder, and stuff that we’d probably never use but thought we couldn’t live with out. We were ready to go. The only thing was to figure out a name. Before talking to Ryan I had to figure out my own feelings. I had decided to name the child Bradley or Bradleigh, whichever sex it was. That was for certain but the middle name I wanted was Ryan because after all Ryan had been instrumental in keeping me emotionally together through the pregnancy. I just felt that the appropriate last name was Sherwood for the baby and that it should be Brad’s name on the birth certificate. But Brad wasn’t here to be the Dad, Ryan was and I wanted to make sure that Ryan had the legal right to do that.

I contacted my lawyer to have papers drawn up that Ryan had every legal right to be this baby’s dad. God forbid something should happen to me down the road, I didn’t want someone to take this child away from him. I was forever grateful to my lawyer that he quickly drew up paperwork that made Ryan a legal guardian for him and had the same rights to him as if he was the biological father of this baby. 

When I presented the paperwork to Ryan it made him cry. I told him my reasoning behind the name. He understood and said he agreed that giving the child the last name Sherwood was right but was shocked that I would even suggest that Ryan have every legal, decision making right to this baby. I wanted this set before I had the baby because things, as we had both learn, can change in an instant. I wanted him to raise this child and I know Brad would agree with me that he’d be the best choice.

When the day came the hospital staff had known the situation since this was where Pat died just over a year ago. They knew Ryan would be a ball of nervous energy. They also knew that biologically this was Brad child, that Ryan was stepping in for him and all intense and purposes was going to be this child father. Ryan, wanted to support me in the OR when the baby was born but told me he’d may not be able to step a foot in the room. I told him that it would be okay. When you have a caesarian they take the mother in first and get her prep first before allowing the support person in. Normally they wait until after they start to bring the father in but knowing Ryan they brought him in just before they were ready to begin. He came in and sat by me. He bounced that leg but held my hand throughout everything. I don’t know who cried more, him or I, when we heard the baby cry. I had given a camera to one of the nurses and asked if they could take pictures of him being cleaned up as they could and they assured me that they would.

Once the baby was cleaned up and checked over as they do after any birth, they handed the baby to Ryan. I know this wasn’t the fairytale he and his wife wanted, nor was it mine or Brad’s but we were doing the best we could. In our discussions I had told Ryan that I would welcome with open arms if his and Pat’s family wanted to be involved in the baby’s life. I talked it over with Brad’s and my parents and they were all in agreement. Both Brad and I came from small families and adding more would be merrier. Ryan’s and Pat’s family doted and spoiled this child and everyone was so grateful.

So life continued. The baby, a boy, I would name Bradley Ryan Sherwood. Ryan was suppose to be the middle name but oops - I made a mistake on the paperwork using those names as a first name. I wanted him to use both names as an honor to both fathers in his life. Middle names were rarely ever used by anyone and both names were important to me and this child. I admitted my so call mistake to Ryan months later and he cried over it. 

During the first six months of Bradley Ryan’s life, family came and visit. Ryan was a gracious host to allow everyone to stay at the house. Even Colin and Deb came. Ryan and I had discuss the idea of Godparents and decided that Colin and Deb would be the perfect choice. I wanted Colin in this child’s life. He and Deb were wonderful to both me and Brad and I wanted him to be involved in Bradley Ryan’s life as well. Again, more tears, as they were honored to be chosen for such a role.

Eventually we got into a routine and just enjoyed being parents to this little one. Ryan went on the road for a bit when the baby was six months. Ryan insisted Colin join his improve troop. Which worked out great because I could send videos and pictures to Colin who would show it to Ryan who still couldn’t figure out technology well. While Ryan enjoyed doing improve he missed us and called me every night. Just missed being there. There were some ugly cries over the phone but we got through it. 

When Whose Line filmed in August, Ryan insisted that we come with him as well. Granted it would be a three week stay but Brad’s family lived in California and I could spend time with his family while Ryan was busy. Plus everyone on the Whose Line set was family too and wanted to ooh and aah over Bradley Ryan as well. The pediatrician said it was okay to go and we made the trek from Bellingham to Los Angeles in a leisurely ride down the coast. It was a beautiful and wonderful trip. What Ryan or I weren’t expecting was this would be the beginning of our happy ending.

Anyone that has lost a spouse or a child will tell you that you never fully recover but you do learn to move on and maybe fall in love again and although we didn’t realize it until it was pointed out to us that Ryan and I were slowly falling in love.

Everyone could see it but us. Brad’s, Pat’s, Ryan’s and my family were able to meet one another during Christmas when Ryan invited everyone up to Bellingham to allow them to meet the baby. Ours, Brad’s and Pat’s parents had brought up how we would look at one another and wonder if there was more to our relationship then what they were seeing. Brad’s mom later admitted to me that they all believed that Ryan and I would end up together. They just figured that we needed time to grieve in order to fall in love. And that’s exactly what happened on this trip.

The day of the first taping of Whose Line, Dan insisted that I come to the studio with Bradley Ryan. He wanted to meet the baby and wanted to have Bradley Ryan participate in a game that was played in Improv-a-ganza called Fairy Tale. The idea was for everyone that worked with Brad to tell a story about Brad so that Bradley Ryan would know about his father. Ryan would hold Bradley Ryan and help him point to the Improvisers who would tell him a memory of Brad. I thought it was a wonderful idea to honor Brad’s memory. Brad’s family was also present and we all laughed and cried. It was wonderful. After the taping, Brad’s family took Bradley Ryan and encouraged me to go with the Whose Line gang for after taping drinks and enjoy myself. As Ryan put the car seat in Brad’s mother’s car, she pulled me off to the side and talked to me.

“Seana, you’ve been nothing but wonderful to our family. But I wanted to let you know if you find someone to share your heart again, please don’t feel guilty. Brad would want you to find love again and I believe that a certain 6 and 1/2 foot gentleman has feelings for you as you are having feelings for him.”

I wanted to interrupt but she wouldn’t let me.

“Seana, we’ve talked. Pat’s, Ryan’s, your’s and our families. When we all were up north to see Bradley Ryan at Christmas. We all came to the conclusion that we needed to realize that Brad and Pat are no longer with us and we need to tell you and Ryan that it was okay to move on. We all know that Brad and Pat wouldn’t want you guys to be alone forever. Even if that means you and Ryan stay only friends and you find someone else. We know both of you guys are afraid but if you want to stay with Ryan or find someone else we all understand. Dad and I will always love you and will always be there for you and Bradley Ryan and Ryan but please don’t put your heart on hold because you think finding love again is hurting us.”

By that point Ryan had gotten the car seat in and Bradley Ryan strapped in. Brad’s mom gave me a kiss on the cheek, got in the car and the family left. I had tears in my eyes and while Ryan was concern didn’t say a word and just held me once the cars were out of sight.

When we were at the bar there was a group of us sitting at a large, round, table with a bench seat that mimic the shape of the table. Ryan and I sat at the end, with me being at the end. I didn’t know that Pat’s family had talked to Ryan just prior to us leaving basically telling him the same thing that it was okay to move on. During the evening I had placed my hand on the seat and Ryan covered my hand with his and held it. I didn’t move my hand; didn’t really want to. We stole a look at one another and smiled and returned to the conversation.

Once the evening was over, we all returned to our own hotel room. Ryan and I knew we needed to talk about what our future held. And for once, I knew what I wanted. I wanted Ryan and no one else.

It actually was a quick conversation. “Look, I know what I want. I want you,” was all I said. He said “Me too,” and that was it. We then made passionate love. We were already married so we just consummated our marriage almost a year later. We never really said anything to anyone, people just figured it out. Especially since once we got home to Washington about a month later I started getting sick. I didn’t put two and two together right away. It was Ryan joking in bed one night that what if I was pregnant. Dead silence. He went to a 24 hour store and bought a digital pregnancy test and I took it right away and it said I was pregnant. I took the other one in the package just to make sure. We were in tears.

April 22, Ryan’s birthday, our daughter was born who we named Patricia MacKenzie Stiles after his late wife and daughter. Still anxious at our daughter’s birth but he’d been through the rodeo once and at least knew what to expect. Fortunately, everything went as planned and me and the baby were discharged a couple of days later.

As for our lives, Ryan continued traveling a bit for Whose Line Live with Colin, Greg, Jeff and Chip. Whose Line the television show stopped for awhile and then was reincarnated with Aisha Tyler as host. But mostly he was home going fishing with Bradley Ryan or playing golf with Patricia. We made sure that Bradley Ryan understood who Brad was and why Patricia was named who she was. We made sure when family wanted to come visit they did whether it was blood related or not, it didn’t matter. All families involved Pat’s, Brad’s mine, or Ryan’s always celebrated the kids birthdays and achievements.

When we were older and the kids had moved out and started their own families, Ryan broke down to me crying. I was worried because I thought the worse case scenario that he was dying. He told me they were happy tears and wanted to thank me for letting him come into my life. He told me that I was his lifeline and that he’d forever be grateful for me throwing him a rope at his lowest point. I started to cry because the same was true for me. Without Ryan, I couldn’t even comprehend where I’d be. He came and offer to take care of me, which soon became us and I took care of him. We agreed that we needed each other and in each other’s arms is where we forever wanted to be.


End file.
